NO SOUND

I was not ready. I had been told that when it happens, one is fully prepared for it. But I wasn't ready.

Sometimes, I awaken to the memory of sound---of chopsticks or something more innovative being practiced upstairs, the rushed excitement of early morning ice time, the sound of a one hour shower, the pounding drums vibrating the kitchen ceiling, or the smell of Belgian waffles; all the myriad pieces of another life coloring the texture of this home.

And, it's not that now. Really. It isn't a home. It's just the shell of a decrepit building; rotting wood, aged roof, mold, mouse infested insulation, massive amounts of fur and...stuff. The stuff that one collects over years of raising them. The stuff revealing the lack of time to discard. The stuff that seemed so important at the time, that really, in retrospect, means nothing at all without the life of another human sharing it.

Yes. We do continue. We breathe in and out. We eat, sleep, wake, work, putter...all hollow endeavors now because that purpose, what God truly meant for us, is gone. And, make no mistake, it is what we were created for. Training up children in His way...what is more purpose filled?

I would not say that a moment of those giggle years; those skate and fall and crash into others on the ice years, those fingers on the right keys years, those voice as sweet as an angel years, those cuddle on the couch with "Lucky Chuck" or "Wombat Stew" years, those "Mommy, I love you" years, were wasted. The smiles, the tears, the necessary discipline, the hugs and kisses--I relished those as he grew into the young man God intended.

At the time I participated fully. I was not a watcher but an energetic and willing enjoyer. I kicked soccer balls until my toe ached, threw baseballs, broke fingers in goal, tackled, tickled and laughed. I sang seven songs each night, read his favorite books and prayed. I told stories, wrote books, comforted and wrestled. I skated and roller-bladed in every arena in the North Country. I listened to sports tales, created art work and cross-country skied. I held his little (big) hand as he went into ear surgery and as he had those tubes removed. I wandered in the woods, played GI Joe, Legos and Robin Hood with super soakers. I acted out Bible stories, explained, prayed and listened patiently to the newness of his reading skills as he read his favorite; the Good Samaritan.

All of it, every moment was treasured. I remembered to remember as I tucked them away in the overfull scrapbook in my mind. As busy and involved and yes, sometimes overwhelmed as I was...I would not remove a single drop from the fullness of that bucket.

As I awaken again to the silence...I hold my breath for a minute. Maybe for just today this will be a dream; maybe the heavy footsteps on the stairs will happen, maybe the voice, "I'm hungry, what's for breakfast?," maybe the sound of fresh skates on 6:00 AM ice, maybe the wafting of wet equipment in my car, maybe the silly boy stuff of overzealous floor hockey and the building of forts. Yet no sounds...each day no sounds.

As I awaken this particular below zero morning, the sun reflects from the brilliance of the snow. I watch a little brown rabbit munching beneath the window and listen to the fight of the greedy blue jays. I hear the silence inside and quickly sprint up the stairs to look in his vacant room. No sound. Do You feel this way, Father, when we wander away? No sound?

"Roots and wings," we are told, "roots and wings." If we accomplish this, we will have been successful. But as he flew off, I could not help feel the door close. The final thud in a life almost completed. Who told us how painful that would be? How empty? How inexorably alone we are? There is no human comfort in that!

But as always God comes through like a trumpet blare, and I am reminded that, "This is the day that the Lord has made, let us rejoice and be glad in it." So I rejoice in the time given. Thank You, God for the opportunity to train up this boy. Forgive me for my errors but thank You for the privilege. Keep my memory intact and the pain...well..I will accept that as well. 

I have learned that when no loss is felt, there was never a gain.

Thank You, Father.

c12/19/2009 M. LaPointe

40 Loaves-Book Review

40 Loaves, by C.D. Baker made me hungry, or rather hunger, for more of what God has to say. It answers the questions of life with clever quips, interesting anecdotes and solid Scripture. It addresses the one thing that we, as Christians, are not supposed to air: the basic questions of life.

Yes. Of course our answers are ultimately found in the Word of God. Baker does not quibble with this. He simply brings to light what is already in the heart of every human...questions with solid answers rooted deeply in the Word.

This is a clever little book, a quick read and a wonderful gift for those who may just be afraid to ask what their heart queries.

This book was provided for review by Waterbrook Multnomah Publishing Group.

To purchase this book go to:

http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl?isbn=9780307444905.

c 12/16/2009 M. LaPointe

CHASM OF GREAT DEPTH

As I looked into his eyes, there rose up a different kind of brightness. It burned there, not unfamiliar to him for he had called it to himself and welcomed its warmth. I listened carefully to nuances and inflections and the words of his mouth. These were the words of his true heart really, and frightening because of that. These words were sired by a deceitful and dark father, a liar, a con, from a chasm of great depth.

I spoke nothing...unable to breathe...unable to quiet the pounding of the blood in my veins. I felt my heart would splinter into a million little pieces if I ventured into the fray with one so bent on hell and ruin. At the moment of this realization, I saw that he was like a sweaty animal rushing in a panic through darkened woods only to turn and find his stalker already upon him. There was an aroma of death on him, he had been mucking about in it, and the scent wafted cloyingly through the room.

As his words intensified, justified, battered and rammed against me, a stillness like mist, came rising to the surface of my internal landscape. With this stillness came only this; "Jesus," uttered in a safe pocket of my  heart. "Jesus." His agitation grew with his words of hate and doom, sounding like the death metal music he so highly esteemed. Profanity and a litany of questions were fired at me like newly sharpened daggers. He knew that I knew right then, right at that moment, that the unuttered name of Jesus held sway over his spewing vomitus. It was a defeat...and he had witnessed it right before his eyes.

A sound, like a thousand bat wings exiting the mouth of a cold cave, fluttered and tumbled and tripped from his clumsy tongue then. He was unable to continue. A look of surprise and then confusion crossed his face. One word, the very one word that means everything, whispered up my throat and across my teeth as he, spent and broken, walked out of my office."Jesus."

Today I firsthand witnessed the reality that is satan in our world (although I have had him dancing about my office before). The angry young man had absolutely no idea that I was a Christian. Something inside him told him to spit out that hatred and anger against something he had unconsciously sensed in me...JESUS! Every word he uttered, every thought he had, came from the bloated belly of the beast. But they were scattered, like leaves in a heavy autumn wind by a singular word, "Jesus!" What power in that NAME! JESUS!

c 11/09/2009 M. LaPointe

White Picket Fences-Book Review

Susan Meissner has done it again. Her newest book, White Picket Fences, is another perfect little nugget of fiction with deliciously interwoven lives and upside-down, twisty-turny storylines. It is a story of the deconstruction of a family in a most unusual way and the rebuilding of those lives through forgiveness.

Amanda Janvier has good intentions when she takes in her brother's daughter, Tally, when her brother disappears again. However, the life that she believed she was living, the one with a solid and supportive family, the very life she was offering to Tally, (surrounded by the proverbial white picket fence), begins to unravel in unusual and unexpected ways right before her eyes. 

How God's direction and guidance leads each family member to His grace and mercy through a huge dose of forgiveness, creates a real page turner. Meissner is well becoming one of my favorite Christian fiction writers! I highly recommend this book to any reader.

This book can be purchased at http://www.randomhouse.com/catalog/display.pperl? isbn=978140007457&ref=externallink_wbp_whitepicketfences_sec_0916_01.

This book is provided by Random House.

c11/09/2009 M. LaPointe

STIRRED NOT SHAKEN

What was David talking about when he wrote in Psalm 16:8b "I will not be shaken?"What seems at first to be a simple statement of confidence turns out to have more profound roots. David writes in the first person but is prophetically speaking of Jesus and to us. David's history of continual sin hints at why these words held great significance in his own life (and now in ours).

David was the youngest of the eight sons of Jesse. He cared for the flocks and perfected his music while in the fields. He was selected by Samuel to be the king that Saul had failed to be. David, during this time, defeated Goliath which brought jealousy to Saul's heart. Saul's son, Jonathan, however, became closely bonded with David. Saul began plotting against David trying to ensnare him with his daughters. Jonathan saved David by informing him of this plot. David then had to flee to a cave and live as an outlaw. He had opportunities to kill Saul but spared his life twice. He even retreated to Philistine territory for a while, at which time, Jonathan was killed in a battle at Mount Gilboa. David continued ruling, living a life of sin and prostrate repentance for many years.

Throughout David's life, his sins and struggles were recorded openly through his music. David's bad choices and subsequently cursed family can be read about in 1 Samuel-1 Kings. However, all through his life David consistently and desperately wrote songs and praises to God. The beauty and prophetic nature of this Psalm can shed a light on the darkened twined path that many follow today.

Psalm 16

"Keep me safe, O God, for in You I take refuge. I said to the Lord, "You are my Lord; apart from You I have no good thing,"(verses 1-2). 

Jesus was the perfect man, yet was still dependent on God the Father. Christ Himself cried out to the One Who was His only refuge--His Father in Heaven. David's words, "apart from You I have no good thing," were echoed by Jesus not as a denial of His sinlessness but of finding His sufficiency only in God. Psalm 73 reiterates, "Whom have I in Heaven but You? And earth has nothing I desire besides You. My flesh and my heart may fail, but God is the strength of my heart and my portion forever." Believers who turn with every need to their Father will not be misguided.

"As for the saints who are in the land, they are the glorious ones in whom all is My delight. The sorrows of those will increase who run after other gods. I will not pour out their libations of blood or take up their names on My lips," (verses 3-4).

God is central in the life of Jesus. However, that did not exclude love for the saints, the true followers of God. In fact, to love God is to love His people. 1 John 5:1-2 tells us, "Everyone who believes that Jesus is the Christ is born of God, and everyone who loves the Father loves His child as well. This is how we know that we love the children of God: by loving God and carrying out His commands." Throughout the life of Jesus we witness the pure love of the Father in Jesus' actions and words. David also demonstrated this love many times in his merciful interactions with his enemies. There is a contrast between the true followers of the Father and those who follow other gods though. Our Father will not even mention the names of idolaters. Not having our name on the lips of God the Father separates us in a most nullifying way from the One we most need.

"Lord, You have assigned me my portion and my cup, You have made my lot secure. The boundary lines have fallen for me in pleasant places; surely I have a delightful inheritance,"(verses 5-6).

For Jesus, His portion and cup were entirely of God. God guarded the boundaries of His inheritance and planned every detail of His life, which gave Him a secure future. David compares it to a pleasant estate in a beautiful setting---an inheritance of good things. Living in close fellowship with God allows us brief glimpses of the perfect ordering of our lives. God does not make errors in creating us. His plan is aptly set before our birth.

"I will praise the Lord, Who counsels me; even at night my heart instructs me. I have set the Lord always before me. Because He is at my right hand, I will not be shaken,"(verses 7-8).

Jesus always praised His Father for His guidance and counsel. Even when Jesus was in the Garden of Gethsemene sleeplessly pacing and praying, He meditated on God's Word. Jesus knew that the perfect Word from the mouth of His Father lent instruction and certain comfort to His grieving heart. David's prophetic words mirror what we are and how we are to live now as believers. Christ always kept His Father before Him. Every action and word from Jesus was in obedience to God's leading. Once our hearts are transformed by Christ, then these are the same paths we will choose to follow.

One of my Bible concordances speaks of the right hand and it's significance (verse 8):

1. Power-"Your arm is endued with power; Your hand is strong, Your right hand exalted," (Psalm 89:13).

2. Safety-"Now I know the Lord saves His anointed; He answers him from His holy Heaven with the saving power of His right hand,"(Psalm 20:6).

3.Honor-"The Lord says to my Lord: "Sit at My right hand until I make Your enemies a footstool for Your feet," (Psalm 110:1).

4. Pleasure-"You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand," (Psalm 16:22).

5. Favor- "Let Your hand rest on the man at Your right hand, the Son of man You have raised up for Yourself," (Psalm 80:17).

6. Support- "You give me Your shield of victory, and Your right hand sustains me; You stoop down to make me great,"(Psalm 18:35).

"Therefore my heart is glad and my tongue rejoices; my body will also rest secure, because You will not abandon me to the grave, nor will You let Your Holy One see decay,"(verses 9-10).

Jesus could rest secure in the knowledge that He was under the constant care and protection of His Daddy. We have this assurance also if we proclaim Jesus as Savior. We know that believers will be with Christ in Heaven when they die. We will not be just dead and rotting in a grave somewhere. Philippians 1:21-23 explains,"For to me, to live is Christ and to die is gain. If I am to go on living in the body, this will mean fruitful labor for me. Yet what shall I choose? I do not know! I am torn between the two: I desire to depart and be with Christ, which is better by far, but it is more necessary for you that I remain in the body." Believers are here with a purpose--to be Christ with skin, to show God's glory, to point the way to the Father. Until God decides we are to die, it is just as it was with Jesus; we are to obey Him and reflect His love to others.

"You have made known to me the path of life; You will fill me with joy in Your presence, with eternal pleasures at Your right hand,"(verse 11).

Jesus had confidence that Abba Daddy would lead Him along the path of life. This path would ultimately lead Him back to Heaven, to His Father's presence. There Jesus would forever experience God's pleasure and joy. This is offered to us as well. What an awesome gift salvation is! We are given the opportunity to experience eternal life with God in Heaven! This is achieved only one way, through one God, the only One, and with continued repentance for our inevitable sins. This is how we become "stirred and not shaken."

 c 10/27/2009 M. LaPointe